Surprised!

I was not expecting what I saw when I walked into the room. All my friends and my fam there to see me. So shocked! It was great! I loved it! I have to admit I was not in the mood to pack up Alex and go up to the church to drop off a few forgotten items for a neighbors party (my mom's cover story). But once I got into that room all was forgotten. I can tell you one of the best surprises! And to have so many people there. Steph came down form Logan, Ad came from work, and I'm sure everyone had similar stories. I loved it! What a good day! After my party I went with my Family to the fair which was fun. I got to see my old neighbors the Neves. It was great. Sunday my mom made my birthday dinner...so yummy! And of course today is my birthday. It's been like a party for three days. How great is that?! Thanks everyone for all the love! I love you all!

A Doctor's Worry

August 15
Isn't funny how you can have the same disease as someone else, someone you love and you're not worried about you having it but you're terrified for the other person? So afraid of what it is and can do to them. This rings loud and clear for me as this is how I feel. Today my doctor told me I'm showing yet another sign of lupus. My joints are inflamed (she found four or five between my hands and feet). It's made her concerned. She doesn't want it to be lupus or to give me that label. She said it would make it a lot harder to get married, impossible to get insurance, and if I want kids (which is a yes) it will be very difficult. It would be a high risk pregnancy with lots of possible complications. I'd need major monitoring the whole time and specialty doctors. I'm not worried about the marriage bit, the right guy will love me even with lupus. That won't stand in his/our way. I hate the insurance thing-it's so dumb not to let sick people have insurance. It just doesn't make any seance. And while the pregnant part does have me a little apprehensive, I'm not in dispare about it. Ever since I got my patriarchal blessing I've gathered that it wouldn't be easy. But what can I say, I'm a difficult child. And I'll show how difficult I can be by fighting it. For the man who loves me for me and not mortal things. For the sweet children I want so badly to bring into this world (even if it means adoption-totally good with that). For every person who has stood by me every moment. And for me, I'm too stubborn to let this illness win.
Now I must say it's not official yet. My Dr wants to wait and see. I'll be getting some more test results to help guide her. But I'm ready for whatever the outcome may be. I've had the feeling since mom was diagnosed . That feeling became stronger when I found out fibromyalga often turns into lupus. So it's only a matter of time really. I'm good for I am blessed. I just want my mom to be okay. I worry about her.

High School Tag!

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I accept your tag Manda...now I shall stroll down memory lane. By the way, I stole some of Manda's answers.

1. Did you date anyone from your high school? Yep.

2. What kind of car did you drive? The great white taxi...My Dodge Aries. Poor people with long legs :)

3. Were you a party animal? Not the “normal” party animal but I was always playing with friends and having movie nights and stuff :)

4. Were you considered a flirt? Not a crazy one, but if the mood took me I would have my moments.

5. Were you in band, orchestra or choir? Band geek baby! I did a bit of orchestra when they needed me.

6. Were you a nerd? All the way!

7. Were you on any varsity teams? Heavens no

8. Did you ever get suspended or expelled? No but I did cut class early a time or two

9. Can you still sing the fight song? Yes but I didn't learn it till Sr. as I always played it in the band.

10. Who were your favorite teachers? Mrs. Lofgren and Mr. Ferrin

11. Where did you sit for lunch? Commons area mostly.

12. What was your school's full name? Hunter High School

13. What was your mascot? Wolverines

14. If you could go back and do it again, would you? Yes, would change a few things though…

15. What do you remember most about graduation? Signing in grad, setting up a fake proposal, chalking Bro Taylor @ 1am ish, and kicking Jon Earl out around 3am then jumping on his bed for breakfast later that morning.

16. Where did you go on Senior Skip Day? We didn’t have one but I skipped a lot my Sr. year!

17. Were you in any clubs? Sign, Drama, Pep Band

18. Have you gained weight since then? Unfortunately :( way too much

19. Who was your prom date? Derek and Jon Peterson (hooray for duct tape!)

20. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion? Maybe, if we have one. It would rock if they did other years too so I could see everyone

21. Did you take any school trips? California for band-yeah baby!

22. What are your best memories from high school? Sr. year...so much drama but the best people and so many incredible times.

Tag! You're It!!

Banda's House

So my sweet Alex has fallen in love with Manda, her house and Kitty. It's the cutest thing ever. We went over there the other day and now he gets so excited about it. He asks where Banda (that's how he says Manda) is. He also of course asks about the Kitty. He's so scared of her but loves seeing her anyway. I haven't seen him get so excited about someone outside of the family. It's cause Manda's awesome! Thanks Manda for being so great! When the time comes you are going to be such an awesome mom!

Watching History Unfold

August 10
I just watched one of the biggest upsets in Olympic history. It was the men's 4X100 meter relay. The US were going up against France who said they would crush the Americans. Everyone was sure France would win it. I had hope and believed they could do it. They are amazing! It was so close, I was shouting at the TV willing them it win. And they didby just a split second. Not only that but it broke the world record by three or four seconds. It was so insane. I had to watch the medal cerimony. And as the national anthem played I could not help but taer up. I believe I tear up whenever I hear it. I'm tearing up just thinkging about it. It's great to live in this country-the promised land. A place where I can be free to live with out fear or opression. Where I can worship how I may. And those freedoms are defended by so many great men and women. This nation is so blessed. I am so blessed.

Unhappy Endings

August 2
Grrr! I really hate it when I get into something such as a show or a book (show being all forms -tv, movie, play) and they just kill off a main person. I get so attached and connected to them, concerned about their "life" then it's taken away. And it's just not the same. Lately that's all the writers have been doing. On every season finale someone has died or they've broken up a group of people in some form or another. I was just telling my mom how I am really enjoying this new Robin Hood series on BBCA. Then tonight they kill two people I really like. One a super major player in the story of Robin Hood. It's like it's tainted now. I'm not sure I'll be watching next season. But to ease my upset mind I've decided to take this way of thinking so everything will be alright...The person dies then they go to heaven where they receive and joyfully accept the gospel. If they are parted from the one they love then both lovers accept and get sealed so they can be together than death do they part. A happy ending after all.
Now shifting a bit I'd like to quickly say how awesome Ammon was (I'm sure he still is). Everyone likes him for the cutting off of the arms of the wicked men but it's what he did after that makes me admire him. He shows he's a hard core missionary, a true disciple of God. I love his conversation with the king about it. How he uses his actions as a teaching tool. He is so humble and gives the glory to God. He is nonstop serving the people plus he's so patient (I don't know if I'd wait for over an hour for the king to make a comment on a simple question). So awesome, what a great man! Fav. quote from Ammon is in Alma 18:34&35

Party!

July 29
I have been given an assignment by Manda and Scott after visiting them (two of my favorite people) to write down my thoughts at night and then share them in my blog. I call it a brain party as I tend to have a whole bunch of random thoughts as I try to sleep. It's like they are having a party in my brain and that's why I can't sleep. So here I am writing away. And what pray tell is on my mind tonight? Many things of course but the main thing is people being burned to death. Not a fan-what a horrible way to die. Whoever thought hey here's a fire and here's this person I don't like let's put them together and see what happens, clearly had serious issues. I cannot fathom being a bystander (especially one that's good with what's going on) let alone the one that puts flame to another person. How could one function after doing such a thing? And why in the world was it so popular for various times throughout history? To think of all the lives that were ended in such a horrific way- the righteous people who followed Alma and Amulek, Abinadi, the Spanish Inquisition, the "witch" trials, the Nazis, and even today when seriously disturbed people decide that's how they want to end someones life. I truly don't get how anyone can be okay with making someone suffer. I do take comfort from what Alma says on this subject. In Alma 14:11 that those whose lives are taken are with the lord. Their blood will be a witness against those who shed it- ultimate justice will be served.
**There's A Party In My Tummy (form Yo Gabba Gabba-don't ask)**
-I often have songs going through my head like a sound track